Yes. Separated parents can generally work together to create their own parenting arrangements. A parenting plan can set out where children will spend their time, how important decisions will be made, holiday schedules, communication arrangements, and other practical matters.
The Department of Justice Canada explains that parents can develop a parenting plan together and recommends putting the arrangement in writing. The plan should focus on the best interests of the child, rather than simply what either parent wants.justice.
Parents may create an arrangement themselves or receive assistance from a lawyer, mediator, counsellor, or another qualified professional.
However, parents should understand the legal effect of the document before signing it. Depending on the circumstances and applicable legislation, additional steps may be required to make an agreement legally binding or enforceable.
What Should a Parenting Plan Include?
A useful parenting plan should address the practical issues that parents are likely to encounter in everyday life.
Depending on the family’s circumstances, it may cover:
- Regular parenting schedules
- Weekday and weekend arrangements
- School holidays
- Summer vacations
- Christmas and other holidays
- Birthdays and special occasions
- Transportation and exchanges
- Communication between parents
- Communication between a parent and child
- Education decisions
- Medical and dental decisions
- Extracurricular activities
- Travel arrangements
The Department of Justice Canada notes that parenting plans can range from relatively general arrangements to detailed plans covering schedules, decision-making, communication, travel, and other aspects of children’s care.
The key is not to create the longest possible document. Instead, the plan should be clear, practical, and suitable for the particular children involved.
How Should Parents Decide What Is Best for Their Children?
The central consideration should be the child’s best interests.
A parenting schedule that works well for one family may be unsuitable for another. Parents should consider factors such as:
- The child’s age and developmental needs
- School and daycare schedules
- Existing routines
- Medical or special needs
- The child’s relationship with each parent
- Distance between the parents’ homes
- Extracurricular activities
- Each parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs
What If Parents Agree on Everything?
When parents can reach an agreement, they may be able to avoid having a judge determine every parenting issue.
For example, two parents might agree that:
- The child stays with one parent during weekdays.
- The child spends alternate weekends with the other parent.
- Holidays are divided according to an agreed schedule.
- Major educational and medical decisions are discussed jointly.
- Parents communicate through email or a parenting application.
- Vacation plans must be communicated within an agreed timeframe.
Putting these decisions in writing can help both parents understand their responsibilities and reduce future disagreements.
The Department of Justice Canada specifically recommends having parenting arrangements in writing because a written record can help prevent or resolve future conflicts.
What If Parents Cannot Agree?
Not every separation can be resolved through direct communication.
If discussions become difficult, parents may consider alternative dispute-resolution options such as:
Negotiation – Parents discuss the issues directly, sometimes with lawyers assisting them.
Mediation – A neutral mediator helps the parents work toward an agreement.
Collaborative processes – Parents and their professionals work together to resolve issues outside traditional litigation.
Court proceedings – If an agreement cannot be reached, a court may be asked to determine the appropriate parenting arrangements.
The Department of Justice Canada identifies negotiation, mediation, and collaborative law among the processes that may help parents resolve family disputes outside court.
Going to court may become necessary where significant disagreements remain or where safety concerns require judicial intervention.
